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Maturity in Personal and Professional Relationships

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In the opening chapters of his book, Intent: Exploring The Core of Being Human, Etsko Schuitema speaks of two types of individuals: The IMMATURE individual and the MATURE individual.

The core difference between these two, Schuitema explains, is their INTENTION in relationship.

He says, “The immature person imposes constraint on the other. The other is there to be bent to the will of the self. The other must change to suit the self. From this point of view, the other is reduced to the status of resource”.

When I look at someone from the point of view of wanting to get something out of him or her, my real intention and attention is not on the person. It is rather in the outcome that I am trying to manage by using the person.

“The mature person realizes that they are there to not to take but to give to the other.” This implies that they do not behave toward the other as they like, but that they do what is correct and appropriate.

Therefore, rather than negating the other, the demeanor is essentially affirming of the other.

If I am careful how I act, it means that I confer on the one that I am acting on a status worthy of my care. I grant the other significance.

Maturity therefore requires magnanimity of spirit that constantly confirms that other as being meaningful and significant.

If you need to improve your life or business, contact certified life coach, executive coach, leadership coach and business coach, Thulani Ndlovu from Thulani Facilitates.

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